How to Choose a Doula

With a doula, you’ll live through some of the most important hours of your life, so choosing the right one is a serious decision. Trust not only your logic but also your instincts.

You should feel comfortable and at ease with this person both inside and out, so it’s crucial to meet them in person. Many doulas offer a free introduction session—make sure to take advantage of it.

Share your vision for your childbirth experience and carefully observe the doula’s reaction. Your views should fully align so the doula can support and stand by you, no matter what decisions you make.

Don’t be afraid to ask even seemingly strange questions—how the doula responds to “uncomfortable” topics, listens, and behaves will help you make your decision.

Questions to Ask a Doula

  1. What training has she completed, and does she have certifications?
  2. Does she have related qualifications, such as in somatic psychology, massage therapy, or nursing?
  3. What are her fees, and what exactly do they cover?
  4. How many births has she attended, and what challenges has she faced?
  5. What Apgar scores did the newborns she assisted receive? (This measures a newborn’s health condition.)
  6. Does she collaborate with hospitals?
  7. Has she given birth herself, and how did those experiences go?
  8. What techniques does she use to ease contractions, labor, and delivery?
  9. How often and promptly can she be reached?
  10. Is she familiar with your doctor, and can she work with them?
  11. Will she be available around your due date, including a few days before and after?
regnant woman and her husband sitting at a table, talking with a doula (birth assistant)

You can even model a scenario to understand how the doula would act in a critical moment. For example, ask: “The doctor says a C-section is necessary. What would you do?” Observe whether she offers advice or instead asks how you’d like to proceed.

Ideally, you should also find out how many clients she has scheduled during your birth month. If she’s assisting more than five women, she may not have enough time or energy to dedicate to you. It’s essential that your doula be readily available between weeks 38 and 42 of your pregnancy.

When a Doula May Not Be the Right Fit

A doula may not be the best choice if:

  • You feel uncomfortable relaxing around a stranger during labor.
  • You don’t believe in alternative practices (e.g., breathing techniques, aromatherapy, somatic exercises) and rely solely on conventional medicine.
  • Your views on childbirth or general worldview differ significantly from hers.
  • The doula is not neutral—she tries to impose her opinion, shares assumptions instead of facts, or pressures you into decisions.

Sign a Contract

To avoid misunderstandings and disappointment, clearly outline all aspects of your collaboration in a written agreement: the preferred birth plan, financial terms, responsibilities, and protocols for emergencies. Discuss postnatal communication—some doulas can help care for the newborn to ease the burden on the mother or provide recovery practices for her.

Pay attention to how your body reacts when communicating with her. Do you feel tense? Hesitant? Or do you feel calm and on equal footing?

This decision can’t be made by a friend, doctor, or partner—listen to yourself and choose the best option.
The Doula’s Assistant app can help. It’s a safe and convenient platform for pregnant women and doulas, providing all the necessary information and communication tools in one place, so you can focus on what matters most: creating a positive experience for the future mom.